Fake it, 'till you make it
We all know the saying “Fake it ‘till you make it.”
To be honest, I this saying was my mantra. I lived by this title.
I faked having confidence.
I faked being happy.
I faked feeling included.
I faked feeling loved.
I faked it until I couldn’t.
I faked it until there was nothing left of me.
I faked it until I felt nothing.
It has taken me years to realize, that I can fake it till I make it, but looking at this saying differently.
I do not need to hide being unhappy. I can share my feelings with a community I choose to lean on.
I can have self-doubt. I just need to be aware of what am I doubting myself about and figure out if those are actually true. I can work through my self-doubts instead of just hiding them.
I can feel unloved and excluded, but I need to be aware of these feelings first to be able to do anything about it. If I just suppress them, these feelings will always ware me down.
Faking does not mean hiding and suppressing negative feelings.
Faking means you know you can get there, maybe you are not there yet, but you are going to work dang hard to try to reach your goals.