I am going to meet my birthmother
This is a post I never thought I would ever write.
Some of you may know the story and some of you may not, so here is the condensed version:
I was adopted from Iksan, South Korea when I was 5 months old. In December 2014, I began a search for my birth mother. After 8 months had past, in August, I got the update that there was no update. Then on September, 10th 2015 I got an email saying they found my birth mother:
After I sent the formal request asking for an appointment time for you to meet with the social worker, I received a response. Your birthmother has been found and it appears a meeting is possible!
The social worker explained that ESWS had received an address for your birthmother, but they were having a hard time contacting her because she did not live at that address and had not registered a new address after she moved.
On Tuesday, ESWS was finally able to contact your birthmother. She explained that she had been married, but is now divorced and single, with no other children (you are her only child).
Your birthmother also explained that her family knows about you and she is currently self-employed. It appears as though your birthmother will be able to meet you.
Now on Monday, November 9th and 10:00am (less than 24 hours now), I am going to MEET my birth mother.
As I write this, I am getting butterflies. The first question people have asked is, "Are you nervous?" My response is always I don't know.
I began this search just wanting to know medical history, because my family has some hereditary diseases that got me curious to know what was in my genetic makeup. Of course, when you start this process every warns you that it may not turn out positive and that they never may find anything out, so for the past 11 months, I have been setting the low expectation of never finding any information, let alone meeting my birth mother. I don't even know what to feel.
I think I feel nervous, but I don't know if it is situation induced or from people constantly asking me if I am nervous... Should I be?
I can tell your my initial reaction was super excited. I read the email, kept saying oh my oh my, then jumped out of my chair in the middle of the teacher office. I was all smiles.
So now, as I approach the meet, I can tell you that I am filled with so many emotions from scared out of my mind that I am going to blow it to excited to finally see what characteristics I got from my birth mother.
I am putting together pictures of my baby self to now. I am practicing some Korean phrases. I have made a list of questions compiled from friends suggestions (I had to reach out for help because my brain is so jumbled).
(Written two days later) This weekend I was on a camping trip. It was nice to just get away from the city and not focus on tomorrow. Now, I am scared. I think that this may be the only time I get to meet this woman. I am afraid that I may screw something up. I am afraid.
And all I really want right now... is my dad.
I ask you to pray for this woman who is coming to meet her only child and that we come with open hearts.