Why do we see a mistake as something bad?
Why do we see a mistake as something bad? It is ingrained in us.
When we look back at when we took our first steps as a baby, we were applauded. Even when we fell, we were hugged, kissed and cheered on as we got up to try again. But then once we got to grade school, when we tripped or fell we were pointed and laughed at. We were meant to feel ashamed for just missing a step.
Then social media kicks in.
You start to see other people constantly succeeding and you start to compare your life to this photoshopped, handpicked display of someone else’s life.
I am victim to that.
I have compared myself to my friends who seem to be succeeding in their careers, while I was working part-time jobs. I saw my friends having amazing relationships with their families while I was struggling to even communicate with mine. I saw these perfect relationships while I couldn’t find a stable relationship.
- Am I good enough?
- Am I worth anything?
- What if I looked a different way? Would things be different?
...would creep into my mind.
But what social media isn’t showing us are the flaws, failures, and falls everyone is facing. – a fight with a loved one, a mess up at work, an emotional burden they are facing
When REAL life happens outside of what we choose to display to others, we get to decide who we want to be
Someone who lets the flaws, failures, and flaws keep them down.
Someone who lets the falls become a lesson to learn and improve from.
You have the control to decide which person you want to be.
You have the choice of what mindset you want to have, which in turn gives you the complete power over your future.
But it is hard to remember the times you have risen after you fell because:
Studies suggests that we recall bad memories more easily and in greater detail than good ones because negative emotions like fear and sadness trigger increased activity in a part of the brain linked to memories. These emotionally charged memories are preserved in greater detail than happy or more neutral memories, but they may also be subject to distortion.
So let’s work on finding ONE positive memory – I am going Harry Potter on you, but we don’t have to fight a Dementor.
Now, I want you to take a deep breath -- close your eyes -- and think of a time you stood taller after you fell.
Do you have one?
I thought of the time in show choir when we all had to have uniformed make-up. When we were being taught how to put the make-up on, I realized how my monolid made my make-up look so different from everyone elses. I could have gotten angry, mad or felt outcasted, but instead I looked up different makeup tutorials on YouTube and learned make-up techniques for monolids. During the rest of the showchoir season, I was looked at as being the make-up goddess and would help others put theirs on.
By taking the time to think of one positive memory, you are working your brain harder to recall, but once you start recalling one you will start to see other positive memories arise.
Then you will see that you can rise every time you fall because you have already done it!
So, when those times come when you feel like you have fallen and you cannot get up, follow these three steps to find the strength already in you to get back up:
1. Start to write down what happened in a journal or notes in your phone
2. Write down all the negative repercussions you think will happen from it and why you are stuck. Once you get out of your thoughts written down on paper you can read them and start seeing the exaggerations that form.
3. Think of one small step you can do to move forward – an actionable step or a lesson you learned.
Because - Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
You are always wearing a crown it is your choice if you want to let your crown shine and stand tall.