Life is a rollercoaster

These past couple months have been a real roller coaster in my personal life. I wanted to launch Lost to Leader in June, but I went through personal issues that left me feeling alone and worthless.

Honestly, I felt like a bug.

My anxiety would kick in when I would be in big groups. I would feel that I could just sink away and no one would miss my presence. I sat in my memories, scrutinizing every action I ever did, putting myself down and telling myself everything was my fault. I laid in bed feeling that I must deserve this sadness. It was if I just threw off the crown that should be shining on top my head to the ground.

I am grateful that friends around me noticed and reached out. They let me just be quiet with them. They let me cry with them in private and in public restaurants. They listened when I needed to vent. They showed me love from actions, words, and their presence.

The vulnerability I was able to have with them was what allowed me to overcome my heartbreak.

Diving deeper and deeper into the pain and allowing myself to feel was the best therapy. I allowed the hurt to, not overcome me, but wash over me and than drip off each day.

It did not just magically disappear overnight, so during the hard days when I felt blocks weighing down on me, I chose to wear my crown and stand as tall as I could, thinking about at least one thing I knew I could be proud about that day.

- Good hair day
- Caught up with a friend
- Finished my project at work

Life is hard. Life is filled with times of darkness and we will feel as if the blocks are never going to stop pushing down on us, but in the end, we have the choice of how we are going to combat the hard times.

It is your choice. Are you going to let your crown collect dust on the ground or are you going to let it shine and stand the tallest you can, so others can see your light through maybe a dark day for them?